The Valentine’s Day Love Quiz: Are You In Love Or Lust?
February 11, 2014

What is love, and is it necessary to take a love quiz just to see how much you truly care about someone? Early in recovery, many of us mistake falling in love, with falling in lust. There’s that void that we always try to fill to make us feel better. Once you begin to do some work on yourself and follow the suggestions given to you in your program of recovery, you start to notice a change in your thinking and behavior. It’s been a well-known suggestion to not get into a relationship within your first year of sobriety, but it’s rarely ever followed. If you are in a relationship in recovery right now, why don’t you try and take this love quiz, then see how you feel about your love life. 

Recovery Love Quiz

Question 1: When you two are together, how do you feel?
A) Really happy, because I’m happy with myself.
B) Like I’ll definitely stay sober.
C) I hope they don’t catch feelings.

Question 2: When he/she asks to make plans with you, what’s your first thought?  
A) Yeah, probably. I’ll talk to you after my meeting.
B) Yeah, come to the meeting with me.
C) Yeah, but I can’t hang out too long.

Question 3: When you two argue, what’s your first reaction?
A) I want to work this out, but let me call my sponsor first.
B) Do whatever you can to make him/her feel better, even if they’re wrong.
C) We don’t see each other enough to argue.

Question 4: How do you feel about going to meetings and sitting together?
A) I want to keep our recoveries separate.
B) I won’t go to a meeting without him/her.
C) I only see him/her after meetings.

Question 5: When introducing him/her to your friends, what do you say? 
A) This is “_____,” my boyfriend/girlfriend.
B) This is the one who keeps me sober, “_____.”
C) This is my friend, “_____.”

Question 6: Does he/she respect you?
A) We respect ourselves and each other.
B) Sometimes, they’re just stressed out a lot.
C) He/she doesn’t even respect himself/herself.

Question 7: Would you change your whole life for him/her?
A) It would take some talking and planning.
B) In a heartbeat.
C) Absolutely not.

Question 8: Have you told your sponsor about this relationship?
A) Yes, I tell him/her everything.
B) Yes, but they’re not a huge fan of it.
C) Nah, nothing to really tell.

Question 9: Does he/she help you be a better person?
A) We both strive to be good people, and we help each other.
B) Yes, I wouldn’t be sober without him/her.
C) I feel bad after I hang out with him/her.

Question 10: How far do you see this relationship going?  
A) I can see a future; we’ll see where it goes.
B) We’re already discussing moving in together.
C) We’re just having a little fun.

Now calculate how many A’s, B’s, and C’s you answered in your love quiz.

A= 20 points
B= 10 points
C= 0 points

Add up your points from the love quiz.

If your total is over 150 from the love quiz, you’re in a healthy relationship. More than likely, you followed the suggestion and waited a year for a relationship or at least waited until you were heatlhy enough to be in one. You’ve done some work on yourself and let your partner do the same. Nothing is better than a healthy relationship, where you both love and support each others’ lives, recovery (while keeping it separate), and ambitions. Good job!

If your total is between 50 and 150 from the love quiz, you might be in a codependent relationship. Codependency is more common than you think, especially among those who have dealt with addiction. Nevertheless, it’s extremely unhealthy for everyone in the situation; meaning, you’re more than likely keeping each other sick. You may want to consider working on yourself and stop trying to “save” your partner, or vise versa.

If your total is under 50 from the love quiz, you may be filling a void. When you’re filling a void, you’re more than likely going to cause harm to yourself or someone else, which can cause some damage for both parties. This may be a good opportunity for your to build your self-esteem and work on yourself instead of worrying about being in a relationship. In the mean time, follow the suggestions and do the work; it’ll all pay off immensely.

It’s Just A Love Quiz

Don’t over-think these results that were provided for you; it’s just a love quiz. But if this love quiz started to make you question if you should be in a relationship or not, it might be a good idea to talk to your sober support, your sponsor, and ultimately talk to your Higher Power about what you should do about it. It’s extremely important to love and respect yourself, and that is an inside job that requires your full attention on your recovery program.